6/18/2014
Anxiety
Now as the title may suggest, this post is going to be something a bit different today. It seems fitting to begin with this quote: "don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel". What myself and other bloggers choose to share online is only a portion of what goes on in our lives. My life isn't a fairytale. Behind Nana Wintour I'm just Sophie. I'm just an everyday girl who doesn't always use skincare products at night, who cares about the opinions of other's far more than I should, who listens to sad songs when I shouldn't and who'll read a book multiple times over (The Fault In Our Stars, here's looking at you).
You never really know what's going on in someone's life, unless they tell you obviously. So today I'm going to talk a bit about anxiety and my experiences with it. I'm not asking for sympathy but if you're going through anxiety, or live with it on a daily basis then I know how you might be feeling. I hope this post helps you, and if you don't suffer from anxiety that it may help you to better understand someone in your circle who does deal with it.
What is anxiety?
Now I'm sure we all know what anxiety is. Some of the symptoms are more widely felt than others. Getting nervous before a speech or a big event is quite commonplace. I'm sure everybody gets nervous, regardless of whether or not they'll admit it. Overthinking and working yourself into a panic attack though is a more serious sort of anxiety disorder. I deal with the latter, although panic attacks are only something I've really started to experience as I've gotten older. I can't really pinpoint when my anxiety started because I quite often erase those episodes from my mind. My earliest memories of it probably stem from when I was at school and I used to worry I'd get asked a question I wouldn't know the answer to or embarrass myself in front of everyone. I'd often worry about events or things long in advance before they happened. During my time at both primary and secondary school I was bullied, which I think really heightened my anxiety and contributed to depression and a lack of self confidence, but that's another post for another day.
What happens when I get anxious?
Usually I'll become anxious when I start to overanalyse a situation or I'll be in a situation unexpectedly. For me it's like being in a doorless room. I'll be trying to get out of the room but it will take a lot of effort for me to get out of it. When I get anxious I zone out. I'll be aware of what is happening around me but I'll be too caught up in my own worries to pay proper attention to it. Someone may be talking to me, and I will be aware of it, but chances are I may not be really absorbing what they are saying. Sometimes if I work myself up enough I will often get headaches or migraines. Often when I get anxious I will try to remove myself from a situation so that I can be alone and/or away from whatever it is that is worrying me but sometimes that is not always an option. To be honest, one of the worst things is saying no to opportunities or invitations which deep down I'd probably enjoy but anxiety can sometimes get in the way of them.
Panic attacks
Let's get straight to the point here, panic attacks are often one of the worst side effects of anxiety, in my opinion. You often have no control over where you'll have one and they can be very overwhelming. I had one last month on Auckland's main street which was horrible. For me, panic attacks are an extension of my anxiety episodes. The symptoms will often be the same but usually I'll be crying and my breathing will be affected as a result. There are many symptoms of panic attacks, I suggest you watch Zoe's videos because she explains them better than I will. As I said panic attacks are a relatively new thing to me and are usually a result when I become so stressed or upset about a situation. They can also be triggered by things like large crowds, particular memories and so on.
How do I deal with anxiety?
I deal with anxiety a lot of the time, and in no way am I going to sit here and declare myself a master with monitoring it, because that'd be lying. Sometimes I handle it well, other times not. When I'm anxious, I try to remove myself from the situation. If I can't do that, maybe then I will speak to someone else about it. Speaking out can often be one of the hardest things if you're dealing with stress, anxiety and the effects that sit alongside them. It honestly helps so much though. Find someone you trust and who gives good advice. You never know, they may also know how you feel.
Find distractions that'll take your mind off your worries. I find reading or watching a box set helps me a lot.
Create a playlist of songs you like. The more calming and uplifting, the better.
Get outside and get some fresh air. This is something I really don't do enough of but whenever I do I always notice what a difference it makes. There's something about being outside amongst nature that is just so relaxing and calming for the mind and spirit.
How can you prevent an anxiety attack?
Again, I am no expert with this but one of the key things you can do is try to eliminate whatever worries you from your life. Sometimes, in the past being around particular people has worried me so I tried to limit the time I was spending with them. Another thing that helps me is to be organised, particularly when it comes to scheduling. Whether it be making a blog editorial calendar in advance, or having a reasonable idea of what I'm doing+needs to be done within a week, it all helps. It may sound a bit silly but if that's something that bothers you then try to keep it in check. As I said above, speaking out makes a huge deal of difference. If something's worrying you that you can get help with, always ask for it.
How can you help someone with an anxiety disorder?
This depends on the person. They might not want to talk to you about it so if that's the case, wait. You can gently let them know that you are there but if they don't want to talk don't force them to. When they're comfortable and ready they'll be more likely to approach you.
Offer to go with them to see a professional. Again, they may not be so eager initially but knowing they have the option there can be a huge help.
Put things in perspective, nicely. Remind them that nothing has to last forever and that whatever's worrying them will soon pass.
I hope this post may have helped some of you! I know it's not the easiest thing in the world but if you think you have an anxiety disorder, speak out. Speak to a doctor, counsellor or someone else in your life that you trust. It'll make all the difference and be a huge weight off your shoulders. If you have any more questions feel free to leave them in the comments. You can email or tweet me if you'd rather x.
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Great post Sophie, it's really brave of you to speak out. The more mental illness is spoken about and people are open about it, the more barriers are broken down. It's often telling the things people will say about mental illness if they don't realise they're speaking to someone who suffers from one - I hear "Why don't they just get over it?" a lot.
ReplyDeleteDo you treat your anxiety with a professional/medication in any way or is it something you've been able to self-manage?
Thank you Morgan. I totally agree with you, it's one of those topics/ideas that gets shoved into the "too hard" basket more often than it should when in reality education is key. Oh gosh yes "get over it" and "you'll grow out of it" are certainly phrases that get thrown about a lot.
DeleteA bit of both. I sometimes go to counseling sessions and have been on medication some of the time-that was more for depression than anxiety.
Hi Sophie.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot of courage to talk about something like this, so I really admire you. I used to get anxiety attacks when I was younger. I eventually grew out of it, but I have so much respect for people who still have to deal with them on a regular basis.
Kris
Thanks Kristiana. It's definitely a frustrating problem to live with and has such an impact on so many people's lives unfortunately.
DeleteI know exactly how you feel. I get anxious about everything, I overthink things and get panicked when things don't follow how I want them to.
ReplyDeleteAshley | http://romanycparis.blogspot.co.nz/
I'm sorry to hear that Ashley! Overthinking is such a nightmare sometimes. I hope this post may have been helpful for you :) x
DeleteWonderful post, Soph, thank you. I feel you, gurrrl! Let's hide in a corner together soon xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you Kirsty!! x
DeleteDo you happen to know of or have knowledge of a list of free resources for those of us who suffer anxiety but may not have the insurance coverage to see a legit professional about it?
ReplyDeleteHi Priscilla. That's a tough one. I don't have anything to hand at the moment but if you go to Zoella's YouTube channel or Blog and look up any of her posts on anxiety I think she has mentioned resources. Sorry I can't be more helpful!
DeleteA Little Blown Away by this blog post Sophie! It's a brave thing to talk about (though it shouldn't have to be) and you handled it so beautifully, clearly, openly and helpfully. I'm so sure this will touch so many people who need it for themselves or for the people around them and make a big (not A Little!) difference!
ReplyDeleteI particularly loved how you talk about some positive strategies that work for you and also about how you can respectfully help and support loved ones during these times. Just A Little Awesome work! Yay you! xx
Aww thank you Jenny. You are so lovely. LOVE your work too!! xx
DeleteThanks for sharing Sophie. I've struggled through similar issues myself; it's improved as I've gotten older and I've learnt how to deal with it better. You're not alone!
ReplyDeleteTo Priscilla, may I suggest looking up free or sliding scale counselling? I see that you're in the US so I'm sorry I can't help. In NZ there is Lifeline who do face-to-face sessions with professionals if you get in touch with your local branch.
Thanks Teresa! Thanks for your help with suggestions of free resources. I didn't think of Lifeline but know they do awesome work. x
DeleteThis sounds like what I've been going through since I was about 15. It's hard because you can have a totally normal, calm day and then it'll just side swipe you over something stupid and suddenly you can't breathe! Talking about it (and crying about it) helps me a lot!
ReplyDeleteIt can totally take you off guard which is the most frustrating part. Talking is definitely one of the best medicines money can't buy x
DeleteI read this a few days ago but it's taken me ages to actually getting round to commenting! I've never dealt with anxiety myself but I know a few people that it affects, so reading this post was so useful for that, Sophie! I think it's so great that people are feeling more and more able to talk about it on the internet, and it was really brave of you to talk about! I'm always pretty rubbish at talking about my personal life away from blogging when I write, so I really admire you for posting this! xx
ReplyDeletewww.totalmodisch.blogspot.co.uk
Thanks for commenting Ruby! I'm glad you've found this post useful. You are so lovely. It definitely wasn't easy putting this post up-it's taken me a year to work up the courage to write about it! xx
DeleteThis was so relevant to me. I've been overly anxious since childhood, and finally got it in control in my 20s. I've never had full on panic attacks but I do get very anxious at time. Finally seeing a really good therapist was a major turning point for me. The process was kind of difficult but it has really changed my whole mindset. Scheduling things for work, blog, and personal life both helped me too. Thanks for sharing this :)
ReplyDeleteNo problems Lena. Thanks for sharing your story with us too. I've been to a therapist once before (when I was much younger) and sometimes go to counseling but I find you really need to be in the right mindset for that. Skepticism is a no go really. Scheduling is so helpful! I am also big on lists+diary planning so I have a clear cut idea of what's going on, needs to be done etc. xx
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