It's Sunday, the weekend is somehow quickly vanishing and all of a sudden it's nearly a new week. What a buzzkill and blessing all in one go right!?  All that said, Sunday doesn't have to be a total downer. For me, I usually try to reserve part of Sundays just for myself. Call it selfish, call it self-maintenance. I guess it's both of those things. Long story short, Sundays are at least in part my day. So today, seeing as it is Sunday and all I thought I'd talk you through some activities I do on a Sunday, just 'cos. It's nothing groundbreaking and I won't say it'll change your life because you could really do these anytime. But anyway, way to not sell a concept Sophie. Here is what I do for a bit of chill on Sundays...

Sleep Ins: So this failed pretty spectacularly this weekend as my internal clock woke me up at the time I usually get up for work during the week. When you can though-sleep in! If you are like me, you don't sleep enough. It's not exactly news that lack of sleep=not good in any regard so cherish that sleep in. Turn that alarm off and soak up the extra shut-eye.

Face Mask+(sometimes) Eye Masks: This is one activity I always like to do on a Sunday. It's a bit of a ritualistic thing but I also find masking incredibly relaxing and like a little treat for my skin too. Recently I've decided I don't like sheet masks, at all but prefer a mask I can apply myself. At the moment I am using and loving the Jet Lag mask x Summer Fridays. It's a bit wallet weepingly expensive but they have recently bought out a smaller size. And it does work quickly and wondrously so, cannot complain. As for eyes, this isn't a step I do all the time but I will definitely be tonight because the eyebag game is strong. Anyway, I use these and they are so lovely and cooling too. I love 'em.

Reading w/ all the cushions & blankets: I am not sure what it is about Sundays but if it doesn't involve a reasonably lengthy reading session, I am usually not satisfied. At the moment it's Winter here in NZ so fluffy, cosy blankets are a must. I usually disappear to a hidden corner of the house too for the most uninterrupted time. 

Go for walks: Preferably alone, this is your time. Walks=the best to immerse yourself in nature and mull over anything and everything I guess. Y'know how this works.

Make a to-do list: This may not sound like 'self-care' as it has the potential to create stress but for me it's useful for me to see what I need to do in the week ahead, or on a smaller scale what I want to achieve on Sunday. Either way, it helps because sometimes I forget stuff and then I can be like "Oh wait, I have X on Wednesday or I made X appointment". Yeah.

Movie+TV Afternoons: I don't really watch much TV during the week so it's a nice lil' treat and relaxer for me on the weekend. Netflix is my go-to. Though now I have the new season of Big Little Lies sitting and waiting to record, that'll be my go-to. Fleabag is also on my watchlist. But I have been rewatching The Crown lately and loving it. I mean, watching TV shows or films are a pretty failsafe way to unwind and zone out.

-What do you do to unwind on the weekend?

Mental illness is not a topic that's particularly easy to talk about. Perhaps this is why there is so much written about it. I can't speak for all the authors, obviously. Personally though I find being able to write about these ideas, namely anxiety and depression, can help make sense of thoughts. Ideas I can't always express verbally in words. Ideas that are complex, multifaceted and yes, sometimes overwhelming. That being said, being able to read the words of others on these topics can often be a great comfort and relief if you do feel like an outsider for example. Not that I am saying mental illness=alienating, although it can sometimes feel that way. Perhaps you just want to understand what someone in your life may be going through or feeling. Quick disclaimer, it has been a while since I've read some of these books but I am going to try to list all the disorders and themes included because some may be triggering and best approached with caution. I've read a fair bit on this topic and of what I have read, these are the books that address the topics in the most effective way. Without unnecessarily rose-tinting and making light of significant concepts. This post may be long so I suggest you get comfy and if you do find yourself unsure whether a certain book is for you, feel free to ask in the comments or message me on social media. 

The Accidental x Ali Smith: I've been doing a bit of background reading on Ali Smith, as well of course as immersing myself in her work and one of the recurring themes is that of love and loss. The grief we feel for the passing of someone in our lives, the disappearances and the swiftness that is the passing of time. Astrid, the teenaged protagonist adventures off to Norwich for a summer holiday with her family and their lives are forever changed by the arrival of a traveling student, Amber. Like many of Smith's stories, this book is multilayered and there are many themes and motifs at play here; cameras, time, love, death, nature to name but a few. // Themes: Suicide, bullying, romance, family, disordered relationships, infidelity, creativity, cinema. 

Wishful Drinking x Carrie Fisher: There is only so much of Carrie Fisher's writing available but she certainly made an impact with her frankness and openness surrounding the discussion of mental health, therapy, dealing with addiction and the likes. She did it in a way that was incredibly honest, yet funny as well. As she said, life is always about 'finding the funny'. While I couldn't relate to her stories of substance abuse, I still found this a very refreshing, honest take on living with mental health and the effects it has on us+the world around us. // Themes: Drug and alcohol addiction, manic depression, celebrity, the media, family. 

An Extraordinary Theory of Objects x Stephanie Lacava: This book has been mentioned a few times on the blog now and while mental health is not the overriding theme of this book, it is something that is taken into account. Lacava faced at times debilitating anxiety but also depression. I've included this here because her writing on high-school bullying particularly resonated. As well as her associations with objects and their significance as both comforters and sources of nostalgia. // Themes: Identity, depression, anxiety, art, creativity, association. 

Girl, Interrupted x Susanna Kaysen: In my misguidedness I assumed this was a novel but it is in fact a memoir. It's a quick read albeit an intense one. I read it in snippets across a week or so's train trips. Kaysen spent two years being treated for depression in the psychiatric ward of a hospital that also once looked after the likes of Ray Charles and Sylvia Plath among others. Given it takes place during 1967, the attitudes and I guess overall understanding of depression was starkly contrasted to how it is today. I found the comments made to her by therapists and their assessments particularly fascinating. Actually I found this whole book fascinating. // Themes: Identity, the journey to adulthood, depression, mental health treatment, friendship. 

Where'd You Go Bernadette x Maria Semple: A quirky, Wes Anderson-esque tale about the far from ordinary Bernadette Fox. Former renowned architect, now reclusive with clearly undiagnosed psychological disorders. This book isn't all bleak though and it is in fact quite entertaining, despite the obviously dark subject matter. You will laugh but also cry in parts. Then again, I cry easily in books and films so perhaps I am not the best judge here. Another quick read too, given the book unfolds through letters, emails and memos more than traditional narrative methods. // Themes: Family, the pressures of success, bipolar disorder, infidelity, bullying. 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower x Stephen Chbosky: My all-time favourite novel which follows Charlie, a high school freshman and his experiences and almost fly-on-the-wall observations of high school and outsiderdom. Such a freakin' relatable read and coming of age novel. I recommend this all the time and gift it quite a bit as well because it's one of those books I think everyone should read. // Themes: Childhood trauma, adolescence, pop culture appreciation, post traumatic stress disorder. 

It's Kind Of A Funny Story x Ned Vizzini: One of my internet pals Hannah actually sent me this book and I've only read it the once but I remember finding it so refreshing and brilliant. I need to revisit it soon, it's well due a reread. Craig, a fifteen year-old faces immense pressure from a prestigious school he attends which eventually manifests itself into various disorders so he admits himself to a psychiatric ward. At first he feels he doesn't belong, among those with perhaps more challenging demands. Over time he eventually finds more common ground with the patients and solace through therapy. It's not all doom-and-gloom and is in fact really quite humorous. Definitely another, laugh+cry and feel all the feels kind of read. // Themes: Depression, peer pressure, self acceptance, identity. 

Looking For Alaska x John Green: Another novel I love and am secretly quite pleased has never been made into a film. If only because I'm scared any visual recreation will tarnish it. Miles goes to boarding school where he meets the infamous Alaska Young. Infamous, yet mysterious. She is enigmatic. They unite over Miles' love of famous last words, pranks, a lil' bit of underaged drinking and adventure. I won't spoil this for anyone who hasn't read it but the ending is sad. Kim Kardashian levels of crying sad. The whole book is brilliant though and I love every last sentence. Another I need to revisit sooner rather than later. // Themes: Childhood trauma, outsiderness, youth suicide, grief. 

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath: One of my current reads and I still have 500-ish pages left. Plath writes vividly and uniquely and it is all kinds of intoxicating. In the best way. As this does get a bit heavy sometimes I do tend to put it aside when I want a hiatus from her world but it's easily one of the best diaries I have read and will probably ever read. // Themes: Youth, love, identity, depression, careers, the future, time. 

I don't think you can quite possibly get a more upfront post title than that ^. Today I thought I'd write about writing because y'know, that's something I like to do. Well more specifically my journal. Before I get all prophetical and start declaring "what I know for sure", side note: no disrespect Oprah-love your work, I used to keep diaries as a kid. Not consistently, and they were usually more passive aggressive. "I got sent out of class for talking but I wasn't the only one. Why?"* or in the case of my travel journal "I went here and bought this, this and this-oh and I saw this piece of art". It is only really in the last six months that I've taken up the mostly daily art of journal writing. It is an art and yes it can be hard work sometimes. Anyway, before I put anyone off writing, I am going to tell you why I love it and recommend it...

You can make sense of your mind's threads: Sounds self explanatory but as someone who I think knew writing everything out would make this a reality, I avoided diaries for a long time. It wasn't until my therapist kept politely pushing the idea of me starting one that I listened. Major props to her for doing so because it's the best thing I could have done, bar seeing her of course. The perspective and oftentimes clarity it brings me to situations, whether difficult or not, is so beneficial. 

A year in the life: Resisting the urge to quote The Beatles here but I essentially have a written record of what I get up to and what is on my mind for *fingers crossed* all of 2018. As someone who loves nostalgia like nobody's business, this prospect really excites me. Sure, my future thirty year-old self will probably look back and want to shake some sense into my current self but I think it will be interesting for me at least to see what 2018 looked like. What inspired me, what changed the course of my life, who has had a profound influence and vice versa. 

Yes this image is out of focus but I like that about it. 

It is cathartic: As I work in the city Monday-Friday I often end up writing my journal entries on my lunch break or on the evening train home. Naturally, this little bit of escapism I can afford myself is really calming. As I am writing for me I can really just keep writing without pausing. I often write pages and pages if I'm really in the mood. If I'm tired, let's be real, it's probably only going to be a paragraph. Seriously though, I find it so relaxing. 

It is practice: I don't want to say it makes me a better writer but I've read enough interviews with writers who say writing daily is only going to aid your work over time. As much as I try to not overthink my diary writing, I do try to bring in the odd metaphor or descriptive paragraph. It also keeps me in the routine of writing something.  I don't write on my blog as much as I used to two/three years ago and I don't get to write for my job so sometimes this is the only writing I'll do.

To examine life through a candid, unfiltered lens: As I see my therapist fortnightly, sometimes a lot can happen in that time. I usually always take my diary to my sessions because if anything's particularly pressing, I will have post-it noted it to discuss. Nobody reads my diary in full though, other than me so I can let my guard down so to speak. Obviously I don't need to embellish for me. Side note: this is not me saying I write fraudulently elsewhere but our inner voices are going to be the most candid. 

*True story. Probably because I was the loudest let's be honest here.

This title probably alludes to advice we could all do with remembering but it is without a doubt easier said than done.

So 2017 is and really has been the year of acknowledging the above. A lot has changed. I stopped studying, got a full time job, ended some relationships and came to terms with life altering events. Without saying too much, if you have ever seen/experienced someone dealing with an illness, you will know how devastating and scary it can all be.

The concept of self-care is probably 2017's equivalent of hygge. We're wary of the ways of the world, as Solange pointed out and now more than ever it feels more important to be kind to ourselves first and foremost. Personally I find taking time out for myself, regardless of what is happening around me, makes such a difference to my overall mental health. Today I thought I'd share six ways in which I practice self-care or ways I try to be kind to myself. I certainly need to practice what I preach sometimes but hey, nobody is perfect...

1) Keep a diary. As someone who thinks a lot it only makes sense that I'd find this soothing. I have a couple of different journals, more on that later in the month but for me this helps me to make sense of things. I also keep one where I write about positive moments from each day but yeah. I'm spoiling the basis of one of my blog posts so I'll move on to numero dos. 

2) Go for walks. I do not run, unless limited edition makeup is involved. In seriousness, I love walking. If I find I need a breather, I take myself for a walk. It needn't be far afield, although a tranquil setting does help. I have a few breaks during my workday and I try to spend at least one, if not all of them going for a wander. Some of my favourite places to wander are around gardens but I also enjoy just meandering around cities, laneways and things too. 

3) Watch a TV show/catch up on YouTube. Preferably without phones nearby although this isn't always possible. I do like to zone out when I'm watching something I enjoy though. At the moment I'm watching Big Little Lies and also the new episodes of Will and Grace. 

4. Read. As Matilda Wormwood would say "Oh yes, I love to read." Magazines, novels, poetry. I love it. I try to always take some form of reading material with me on my commute to and from work and am notorious for overpacking books when I travel. They're my paper security blanket I guess.

5. Throw on glitter eyeshadow or bright lipstick. Heck if you want to go bold, why not rock both at the same time? You do you. I know the idea of makeup and self confidence can be dismissed as frivolous or silly but it's hard not to feel good when you're wearing one or the other. My go-to's are the Stila Liquid Metal shadows or something like MAC Impassioned or Lancome Idole lipsticks.

6. Talk. Whether that be to a friend, counsellor, someone you think is rad on Twitter. Whether it be heavy or light. Talking is the freaking best. You never know what you will learn.

-How do you practice self care?