Nobody said it was easy, old habits die hard and vice versa. At the beginning of October, inspired by Daisy Buchanan, authoress, not morally questionable Gatsby character, I decided to have a month of #notreatyoself as I put it. Along with my pals and cheerleaders Olivia and Britney who all committed in different ways, I set out on my quest as I put it in my diary entries. Speaking of diaries, that rather spectacularly failed and I only have a handful of entries but I will include them here for your entertainment. There might even be *side notes* too because that's just how I roll. 

October 1st: Feeling hungover but really just struck down with the flu* after it's passed by everyone else. On the plus side it's made me not want to go anywhere. A cocktail would've gone down well whilst waiting for my flight. Instead, I bought a mocha. Nothing else. Caffeine was essential. Is essential. Maybe next month I try no cafvember. *I don't actually even know what I had. Just that it was vile and left me feeling less than amazing for a good ten days or so.

October 6th: Oh my god. This is quite a test! Last night I came across the Lonely tee, donating all proceeds to NZBCF and I couldn't get it under the rules of this challenge. And I felt terrible. Never mind, I will be able to support the Pink Ribbon Appeal later in the month. I've found myself tempted by the new Mecca 20th Birthday** collection but that's where it ends. Like I haven't gone to look at it because I can't. WHO AM I!?! **I actually grabbed nothing from this collection. Past me would've been all over it because #limitededition #essential. 

October 9th: Survived the weekend relatively unscathed. I came close to making a Colourpop order but felt guilty. It might still happen but at the beginning of next month* I'm also trying to work out where the lines here spending-wise might be blurred. I'm dealing with a bit at the moment and it's like can I justify self care related purchases?** Or is it just sneaky treat yo'self logic? It's a hard one because I don't think I should deny myself the opportunity to feel good, no matter how fleeting it may be. *It didn't happen. **For example I had a pre-scheduled (from two months prior) hair cut and colour which I obviously didn't cancel. Yes I could've done it myself but it would've come up terribly and I would've had to wear a hat for the next year. 

October 12th: So yesterday I bought some things for our inter-office Halloween comp. Skeleton heads and a web with spiders+a bloody floral crown which I think will look awesome. I've been so tempted by beauty things. I think because I want to replace my Kevyn Aucoin powder which broke last month. So I'm like ooh Cult Beauty, Mecca oh hey girl. I make carts and then close all the tabs and move on to some other far flung corner of the internet. I've also realised how I seem to gravitate towards the same three neutral lipsticks. Pillow Talk x Charlotte Tilbury and Modesty+Brave x MAC. I think at least two of them are in my bag right now. Right nowww. Haim reference. Nearly halfway through the month though YASS.  

October 23rd: I am terrible at this multiple diary thing*. One thing I have noticed is I am much better at window shopping. Why is it even called window shopping when it often entails entering the actual shop itself? Sure I have not been faultless and there's been a couple of slip ups. I have to be honest here.** Who ever is faultless though and how boring must their life be? I definitely am more considering of what I am buying though and evaluating things a bit more. I am liking that too. Long may it continue. *I keep 3/4 diaries so I guess it's forgiveable I'm not good at maintaining them all. **I repurchased the sculpting powder. Oh yes, I did.  

So yeah what did I learn? Challenges are a STRUGGLE. A real, legitimate struggle. Exaggerations aside, this was not always easy for me but I actually didn't do too shabbily. Even now I'm finding I'm being more wary of what I'm buying and trying to reinstate a one in, one out style policy with the likes of magazines (which very quickly get out of hand) and other things. I didn't end up rewarding myself with fancy earrings as intended because I decided they were too expensive but I am going to be renewing my Frankie subscription. Considerably less expensive than ear bling and a present through my mailbox every alternate month. So all is not lost.