10/08/2018
musings on mental health
As a chronic over-analyst, right now my mind is like “what
if people think I am publishing this because it’s trendy?”. Trendy, seriously?
Honestly, the fact we dismiss something so important that fast to me says we
still have so far to go. For the record, if trends interested me, mental health
concerns would not be a bandwagon I’d voluntarily sign up for. At the same
time, I want to talk about mental health. More so when New Zealand, my
birthplace has such damning statistics. I’m still
trying to work out how to write about my personal experiences without
inflicting a seismic array of nerves and anxiety upon myself. For now, I just
want to share some thoughts. Yes it is mental health awareness week here in New
Zealand but these are all things I’ve considered over the past year. So here
goes. Also, if you do need to seek support or want to help someone in your life
who does need it, please see the list of resources at the end of this post.
-Why do we see so much of people’s ‘success’ stories in the
aftermath of depression, anxiety etc? Why do we see less of the ‘during’ stage.
I am guilty of this too as I can barely write this out for my own private
consumption sometimes, let alone on a public forum. I do often ask myself, why
does nobody share that side of things? Would it make us all more understanding
and less dismissive? Who can say.
-Mental health is not a competition. Please don’t feel that
way. Your anxiety and depression is no less valid than my anxiety and
depression. Imagine if, for example, we competed over who has the worst
eyesight or allergies. It sounds ridiculous. It is ridiculous. Please don’t
think that competing over whose mind is the most troubled is the answer. It’s
such a vicious cycle.
-Has social media exacerbated my generation’s status
anxiety? Sometimes I wonder what it’s like for the generations who don’t
document their personal biographies online. When you used to hear news
face-to-face or in a phone call. When people posting ‘candid’ photos of their
milestones for public consumption would have been quite frankly, bizarre.
-The following statements are not helpful and both have been
said to me: “Sophie, there are people that are dying.” And “Sophie, don’t
overdramatise.” The following statements are
helpful. “Is there anything I can do for you?” and “you can get through this.”
Even if the latter sometimes feels trite, I promise hearing it from someone
else does help.
-Therapy is hideously expensive but if you can access it,
please do. It has helped me see how the past impacts the present. It has taught
me how to recognise my own toxic thought patterns and in turn how to reshape
them in a more positive way. It’s also really amazing being able to talk
through things with someone removed from your day-to-day life. If you're a uni student, utilise their counselling services. I know they're spread thinly but they do make a difference.
-I also rate diary writing, and it’s free. Yes it is hard.
Yes it can be really revealing. Admittedly, lately I have become lazy with this
but even if it’s just writing out a list of bullet points, it all helps.
-If people are making you feel like trash or exacerbating
any mental health concerns, distance yourself. Life is too short to put up with
people like that. Stephen Chbosky wrote “we accept the love we think we
deserve” and quite frankly we all deserve an abundance of love and respect.
Always.
-Finally, be kind to yourself . Easier said than done
sometimes, let’s be honest. It makes such a difference though. Be kind to those
around you as well. We edit and curate our self-projection. You never really
know someone’s history unless they share it or you ask. Listen. You learn so
much more about the people in your life and you may be surprised to find
stories similar to your own.
No one is alone.
-Resources:
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